Oakland Blood Bowl League

Elven Elāsmï vs. Sour Worms

Elven Elāsmï Win!
1 - 0

"Howdy sports fans, and welcome to another preseason game! Taking the pitch tonight, we have the big-haired Elven Elāsmï versus the green-skinned Sour Worms. I'm Jim Johnson, alongside Bob Bifford. Hi Bob!"

"Evenin' Jim, and we have a huge crowd out there tonight, with everyone of the twenty-four thousand crazed lunatics in attendance baying for blood."

"Indeed they are Bob, so let's hope the teams will give them what they're screaming for! Here come the players onto the pitch, with glorious weather, and it looks like the Sour Worms coach has won the toss, and elected to kick off."

"Good strategic move there Jim - let the elves score a quick touchdown, get the ball, and spend the rest of the half pummeling elves and creeping the ball back up to the end zone."

"Too right Bob, and of course Sour Worms will also start the second half of the match with the ball too. But for now, the teams are in position, and here comes the kick ..."

"The Elven Elāsmï are sneaking in a reshuffle Jim - and that's an elven thrower who's slid in under the ball."

"And that's quite the first block there Bob - Scribequest has KO'd an orc lineman with the first block of the match - doesn't bode well for the Sour Worms."

"Bah - even a blind squirrel finds an acorn now and then Jim. If I were the Sour Worms, I'd be more worried about those two elven catchers legging it upfield."

"Good point Bob. And not a lot of offence from the Sour Worms at this point - that looks like a failed blitz action, and - oh! A second orc player has been KO'd!"

"Well Jim, if I were the Sour Worms head coach, I might be just a tad displeased, but I still think it's luck on the part of the elves. But a nicely caught throw there, leaving the ball dangerously upfield, Jim."

"Indeed Bob, but the orcs seem to have gotten their blocking boots on, as the catcher has just been stretchered off, knocked out cold, and the Sour Worms have the ball deep in their own half."

"But not for long Jim - the Elven Elāsmï have just blitzed the Sour Worms ball carrier, but the elven thrower spent way too long cleaning the mud off his boots to have time to recover the ball, so here come the orcs!"

"For sure Bob - this is a blockfest, with the Sour Worms pounding on the elves, but to no avail - that Auld Albion Armorers stuff is top-notch protection."

"Love that stuff Jim, and after some fancy dodging the Elven Elāsmï have the ball again, but they're just not timing their plays right, because the orcs are once again pummeling the elves into the dirt - or the crowd: there goes another elf catcher."

"But still, Bob, the ball is loose on the ground, and there's Elven Elāsmï blitzer Jadebranch Treestrength with basically an open field! He grabs the ball, and sprints upfield, untackled, and TOUCHDOWN! Just over half-way through the first half, and the Elven Elāsmï lead one-zip."

"'Never trust an elf near the End Zone', Jim."

"And we've just seen why Bob. With the score at one-nil, the players are lining back up again to continue the half."

"Not a great kick there Jim - that's a touchback, and the orcs run the ball almost to the half-way line. That's quite an offensive line they have there."

"True Bob - although the Elven Elāsmï are covering the line, throwing a few handy blocks there too."

"Very handy Jim. The Sour Worms start a grinding play upfield, but it stalls at the very first block. That could end up being costly for the orcs Jim."

"No kidding Bob, because the elven catchers have snuck behind the orc line of scrimmage, and are surrounding Issac, the orc thrower."

"Jim - that was a terrible foul! The orc is off, badly hurt, but Jadebranch Treestrength is outta here. That was abysmal."

"Bob, that could seriously hurt the Elven Elāsmï's chances for the remainder of the match - Treestrength has made some great, legal, blocks in this match, not to mention having scored the game's only touchdown so far."

"But look out Jim! Moses, one of the big ole Sour Worms blitzers has broken through the defensive line and is looking to make a catch, followed by a touchdown."

"He's just not getting the support he needs though Bob - another orc trips up making a block, and the pass is never executed."

"Jim - the two elven catchers have taken down Issac - and recovered the ball - there's not enough time left for a touchdown for either side I reckon."

"And right you are Bob - that was the referee signalling the end of the first half. So here we are half-way through the match, and the score is one to zero. We'll be back after these local messages."

"Welcome back, sports fans, to this preseason match where the Sour Worms are trailing the Elven Elāsmï by a touchdown. I'm Jim Johnson, and he's ..."

"... Stupified by the lack of successful orc blocking in the first half. There should be a large number of elf-shaped gaps in the Elven Elāsmï line-up at the start of this half, Jim."

"True enough Bob, and I'll bet the Sour Worms head coach had some choice words for his players at half-time."

"I guess we'll just have to see Jim - here's the kick-off, and it's ... just stopped short of heading out of play on the orcs' left touchline - a lucky elven kick there!"

"Certainly is Bob, what with those two elven catchers lined up perfectly to grab the ball, but there go a number of the Sour Worms players over to cover the ball."

"The elves are on the move though Jim - and a blitz from the Elven Elāsmï takes down the Sour Worms ball carrier, and the ball barely remains in play, just a fraction of an inch inside the touchline."

"The orcs certainly seem more fired up this half Bob - just look at that ferocious blocking on the elven line: I'm having a hard time spotting an elf still on his feet, but that's a failed pass attempted, and the ball is loose, right by the line of scrimmage."

"You're right Bob, and there's a grab from one of the elves for the ball, but no: denied! The orcs knock the ball from the elf's hands, grab the ball themselves, and the Sour Worms are absolutely pounding on the elven line once more."

"Wow Jim - Sour Worms black orc blocker Ezechial is laying waste to elves left, right, and center this half!"

"Spot on Bob - although the elves are apparently undaunted - they've just blitzed the orcish ball carrier - "

"Oh Jim, that was a lousy recovery, and the ball is just bouncing around there on the pitch!"

"True enough Bob, and the orcs are making the elves pay for that one, with some huge blocks - I would have to say the elves are dropping like flies now."

"And especially when they try half-hearted blitzes like that one, Jim."

"Bob - the Sour Worms have the ball, and a semblance of order, as they begin to move the ball upfield, but no: that's a dropped hand-off, and the ball is loose in the Sour Worms half again. Bob, do you think the Elven Elāsmï have enough players left on the pitch to make something of this?"

"Dunno Jim - five has never been my lucky number. And it doesn't help when your elven catcher can't pick up the ball!"

"Too true Bob - the orcs have grabbed it, and are sprinting upfield, with the intention to throw a pass up to the waiting orc blitzer, and the arm goes back, and - huh? The ball falls away. That's just terrible for the Sour Worms Bob."

"Well, never send a goblin to do a thrower's job, Jim. But it doesn't matter, the Elven Elāsmï lineman has let the ball slip by him, failing to make the pickup."

"And so has that orc, Bob, and time is almost up for this second half - if the Elven Elāsmï can grab the ball and make one final pass, they could end this match two-nil ..."

"Pathetic Jim ... I'm beginning to have serious doubts about Llanefren Myfanwe is really an elf - certainly can't pick up the ball like one. Maybe he's just Welsh?"

"No time to get into that Bob - the whistle's just gone for the end of the second half, and our final score is Elven Elāsmï one, Sour Worms zero."

"Well, I've seen better Jim, but given that these are two rookie teams, it was a pretty good match."

"Wow - high praise coming from you Bob. 'Til next time sports fans, I'm Jim Johnson, and he's ..."

"Looking forward to the start of the Late 2006 Season!"

Elven Elāsmï

• Winnings: 50,000gp
• FF: +1

Sour Worms

• Winnings: 30,000gp
• FF: 0