Oakland Blood Bowl League

Warpstone Womprats vs. Elven Elāsmï

Warpstone Womprats Win!
4 - 0

"Howdy sports fans, and welcome to another bone-crunching match of Blood Bowl! Tonight's game is between the furry force of the Warpstone Womprats, and the inveigling ingenuity of the Elven Elāsmï. I'm Jim Johnson, here with long-time co-commentator, Bob Bifford. Hi Bob!"

"Evenin' Jim. We've got perfect weather here for the two teams to strut their stuff before the twenty thousand assembled fans."

"Great stuff, Bob. Here come the teams onto the pitch, and those Rat Ogre wranglers seem to be having a tough time keeping Mighty under control."

"That's the downside to having wild animals on your team Jim - it's a tough job to make them appreciate the finer points of Blood Bowl, for example the line of scrimmage."

"True Bob, but they seem to have him placed, and as the wranglers run off, we should point out that the Elven Elāsmï have three new players tonight - a journeyman and two mercenaries."

"The elves took a pounding in their last match Jim - one catcher dead and two more in the infirmary for this match."

"It could be a tough game for Fanafriel Cumulus, Bob, as the only remaining elven catcher on the field - no doubt he'll be a marked man."

"We'll see Jim - the Warpstone Womprats have won the coin toss, and have elected to receive."

"Bob! Did you see that? Someone in the crowd just threw something at the rat ogre Mighty, and stunned it! A lucky break for the Elven Elāsmï!"

"But not for the halfling that was the thrown object Jim - the remaining skaven on the line of scrimmage have pounded him into the dirt, and here's the elven kick-off."

"It's a long one Bob ... bouncing ... and it's come to rest in the Warpstone Womprats end zone there, and this match is on!"

"Nice pick-up from the skaven Jim, but some half-hearted blocking going on - looks like the stunning of the rat ogre has pretty much taken the wind out of the skaven's sails there."

"Looks that way Bob, and there's a sneaky hit from one of the Elven Elāsmï mercenaries, sticking the boot in on the rat ogre, stunning it again."

"But the skaven aren't messing around Jim - there's a gutter runner way inside the elves' half, and that looks like a pass attempt coming up from the skaven thrower with the ball."

"It's a long pass Bob, but ... it's good! And there's the gutter runner striding into the elven end zone for a very quick skaven touchdown!"

"This was somewhat expected Jim - could end up being a very high-scoring match here."

"Sure could Bob, although the elves are wasting no time in setting back up for the next drive, and the rat ogre has recovered from taking a halfling to the head."

"The whistle has sounded for the kick-off Jim, and the ball is up -"

"Sorry to cut in Bob, but the elves have just pulled off a quick snap, and an elven thrower is there under the ball."

"No doubt hoping the single elven catcher can get into a good position to receive the ball, but not just yet Jim."

"That dallying by the elven thrower could prove to be painful Bob - there's a gutter runner bearing down on his position!"

"But the elves are getting their blocking game on Jim, and the thrower is rolling to the right side of the pitch ..."

"With a hulking rat ogre on his tail Bob. A push from the rat ogre, and somehow the thrower has remained on his feet."

"And the Elven Elāsmï thrower is pulling back his arm for a long throw to the waiting catcher, but that doesn't look like it's going to reach it's target Jim."

"You called it Bob - the ball has bounced, and one of the skaven has just let it slip through his fingers."

"If the elves can get a hold of the ball here Jim it'll be an easy touchdown to level the score, and there goes another elven thrower to - no! Clotheslined, and that's a turnover."

"Here comes Lestor Longtoe, Bob, weaving all around those elven linemen, to emerge with the ball, heading determinedly toward the elven end zone."

"There goes an elven blitzer to chase him down Jim, but tackled by one of the skaven blitzers, and Lestor is loose, with the end zone in sight."

"Odd Bob, Lestor has run from one side of the pitch to another, passing up the scoring opportunity - no doubt trying to run down the clock as we're nearing the end of the first half."

"A good tactic Jim, as was that huge block on the elven blitzer, and Jadebranch Treestrength is being carted off to the sidelines, with the word being that he's badly hurt."

"And despite the elven blocking efforts, Bob, Lestor has run that ball into the end zone for a two-nil lead for the Warpstone Womprats!"

"With just a couple of minutes left in the first half Jim - the elves are really going to have to kick their game up a few notches to catch the skaven."

"An interesting setup from the skaven there Bob - knowing that there's not a lot of time left in this half, they have three linemen on the line of scrimmage, and all the other Warpstone Womprats players are clustered together back at the skaven end zone."

"JIM! Look at that! A huge fireball from the crowd has engulfed what, six skaven players? And as the smoke clears I can see three stunned Skaven in a pile."

"That's right Bob, and there was a skaven blitzer in there too, who is apparently now in the dugout, having been KO'd."

"That was just too easy, Jim, for the Elven Elāsmï-supporting wizard to take a swipe at a large number of skaven players there."

"And with that, Bob, the referee has blown the whistle for the end of the first half. The score so far is Warpstone Womprats two, Elven Elāsmï zero."

"A fast-paced first half Jim."

"Certainly was Bob. We'll see if the teams can keep up this pace in the second half, but first: these local messages."

"Welcome back, sports fans, to the second half of this Late 2006 Season match, where the Warpstone Womprats lead the Elven Elāsmï two touchdowns to nil. I'm Jim Johnson, and he's ..."

"... hoping for a death, Jim! With that rat ogre on the pitch I reckon it's just a matter of time."

"We'll find out soon enough Bob - there's the skaven's kick off to the elves, and the second half of this match is a go!"

"Some good, hard blocking by the elves there Jim. And that's a nasty little foul from one of the elven mercenaries - where's the ref when you need him?"

"Good question Bob - the ref certainly missed that one, and the skaven's being carted off by the volunteers from the Cult of the Blood Red Cross."

"Look out Jim! The skaven are pushing for a blitz on the elven thrower with the ball, but pushing seems to be all they could accomplish there."

"Lucky for the thrower Bob, as he passes upfield to get the ball out of danger of a turnover."

"You know Jim, one thing I've been surprised about this match is the level of blocking from the Elven Elāsmï - certainly far more that we've seen in any previous match."

"That's true Bob - but the skaven are certainly keeping pace with the elves, and an ineffective block on the elven lineman with the ball there."

"And more blocks from the elves Jim - but before they can plan to move the ball, the skaven are pushing back!"

"Pushing hard Bob - the skaven have just downed the elf with the ball, swiped it, and that's a well-thrown pass upfield to Lestor Longtoe! Big turnover for the skaven Bob."

"Although that rat ogre's really not proving to be too useful right now Jim - it's trying to intimidate that elven lineman with some bellowing, but no actual blocking."

"You know what they say Bob - 'Never work with animals or snotlings'. Fortunately it gives that elven lineman a chance to slip by Mighty and put pressure on the skaven ball-carrier."

"And a nice block from the elven blitzer there Jim - scratch up another casualty for the elves."

"There goes the skaven ball-carrier, Bob, scampering away from the elves marking him, but oh! Looks like Lestor tripped over that overly-long toe he's famous for - he's down, and the ball is loose!"

"Not for long Jim - the elves have retrieved it, and are trying for a long pass back upfield - it looks good ... good ... and - doh! The elven catcher has fumbled the catch there Jim."

"Letting the Warpstone Womprats recover the ball Bob, and that's a pass back upfield to once again put pressure on the elves."

"Doesn't look like the elves are responding well to the pressure, Jim - that very first block went horribly wrong, and the elven mercenary who attempted to throw it is now being carted off."

"And there goes the gutter runner one more time Bob - three-nil to the Warpstone Womprats!"

"Wow Jim ... I don't see any way the Elven Elāsmï can get back into the game this late into the second half."

"You're probably right there Bob, but no-one's told the elves - they're already setting up for a new drive, and wait! The skaven have blitzed them before the kick-off Bob!"

"Not only have they blitzed the elves, Jim, but one of the skaven gutter runners has ended up under the ball! Sneaky!"

"Indeed Bob, but the elves aren't standing for that - Cumulus, the catcher, has run back and knocked down the skaven to retrieve the ball. This could be a consolidation touchdown for the elves Bob, as the final few minutes tick down."

"Maybe Jim, but right now it looks like the skaven have pretty much given up on the ball, and are now just looking to douse the pitch in elven blood! Those are some heavy-hitting blocks the skaven are handing out there."

"True Bob, but the elves have a final chance to score here, as Cumulus has run right up to blitzer Scribequest, and - oh good grief! He's fumbled the quick pass! Scribequest was standing right next to him, and he fluffed it!"

"I'm really having my doubts about these so-called 'elves' Jim. They just can't seem to make the passes count."

"True Bob, but watch this! The skaven, in the very final few seconds have retrieved the ball and are running it back upfield - there's a hand-off, and there's a pass, and -"

"Touchdown! Jim, that was a fantastic play! Pretty much the full length of the pitch, for a last-second touchdown for the Warpstone Womprats!"

"And there goes the final whistle, Bob, and the Elven Elāsmï have to feeling as sick as dogs right now. Let's find out, as we check in with sideline correspondant, Sally Vacuum. Sally?"

"Thanks guys. After that final-second touchdown, let's hear what Elven Elāsmï head coach, Exarch Swiftseer, has to say about the game. Coach?"

"Well Sally, we were perfectly prepared for this match, but things just didn't quite go our way."

"'Didn't quite go your way'? Coach, you lost four-zero."

"Yes, but collectively our hair way the best it has ever been during our years playing this game."

"Ah ... glad to have heard that perspective - thanks. And over here is the coach of the skaven team, looking somewhat jubilant over the four great touchdowns scored in this match. Coach May - what are your thoughts on tonight's match?"

" Aside from setting my team up perfectly for a blast from that cursed wizard all else seemed to go our way today. Clearly the chaos gods had our backs today. "

"Thank you, Coach May, and well done on an impressive win here tonight. Jim ... Bob ... back to you guys."

"Thanks Sally. There you go sports fans - a four-nil drubbing by the Warpstone Womprats over the Elven Elāsmï. For details of this week's other matches, log onto our World Wyde Webb Sight. 'Til the next match, I'm Jim Johnson, and he's ..."

"... Trying to find my damned cart keys - I could have sworn I left them right here on the bench. ANYONE SEEN MY KEYS?!?"

Warpstone Womprats

• Winnings: 30,000gp
• FF: +1

Elven Elāsmï

• Winnings: 50,000gp
• FF: 0