Oakland Blood Bowl League

Femtastic vs. Elven Elāsmï

Femtastic Win!
2 - 0

"Howdy sports fans, and welcome to another spine-shattering match of Blood Bowl! Tonight's game is between the legendary litheness of the Elven Elāsmï, and the alluring Amazons, in the shape of Femtastic. I'm Jim Johnson, here with my career-long buddy, Bob Bifford. Hi Bob!"

"Evenin' Jim. I never realized that it rained so much here in Middenheim!"

"A glorious summer's eve, Bob, according to the twenty-five thousand locals in the arena with us tonight."

"Eh ... the booth is leaking Jim, but I guess we've seen matches in worse weather."

"True Bob, although I'm hard-pressed to think of one right now. Anyhow, I think I can see the players taking the field down there, so this match is a go!"

"That's right Jim - didn't these two teams meet in the Pre-season?"

"They certainly did Bob, and it was a two-nil win for Femtastic - let's see whether the Elven Elāsmï can avenge that defeat here tonight."

"They're starting out right, Jim - the elves have won the toin coss Jim, and have elected to receive."

"Right you are Bob, and - oh! As the players are taking their positions, what looks like a trash can has arced it's way down to the pitch from the crowd, and that's a Femtastic blitzer on the floor there."

"Not a great start for Femtastic, Jim, but a start none the less, as the whistle's just blown, and the ball comes to rest back in the elven end field - this game is on!"

"Certainly is Bob, as Elven Elāsmï star catcher Fanafriel Cumulus bobs and weaves his way past three players into the Femtastic back field, awaiting a pass."

"Well, the elves have the ball in their possession, Jim, so it could be a long pass."

"Could be Bob, but not right now - three Amazons have ganged up on the catcher, and he's down. There's a whole bunch of blocking going on over on the line of scrimmage."

"From both sides Jim ... and it looks like the elven catcher is back on his feet, but the elven thrower hasn't let the ball fly."

"That's right Bob - the rain's coming down so hard, I think the normally well-coiffured elven thrower has most of that hair slicked down into his eyes."

"A fact that Femtastic are taking advantage of Jim - that's a huge block on the thrower, and the ball's been recovered just inside the elven half by the Amazons."

"That could prove to be quite costly for the elves, Bob, but they're back-peddling to the ball carrier, but an ineffectual block there."

"And Femtastic's number nine, Veronica, is making a sprint for the end zone Jim."

"Bob - that's a stupendously bad block attempt on Veronica by the elves there, and Veronica's headed for the score!"

"Touchdown! Halfway through the first half, and Femtastic are leading one-zip already, Jim."

"Alright Bob ... despite the weather, certainly some action on the pitch here, with a great running play by the Amazons, and the teams are setting up for the next drive, but what's that? There's a riot going on over there Bob!"

"I'm something of a riot afficionado Jim, and this is a doozy!"

"But there go the match officials, Bob, and it looks like they're being aided by the first regiment of the Middenheim Cavaliers."

"The ref has quite literally brought in the cavalry Jim."

"You said it Bob, and this situation has been dealt with - time for the kick-off, and it's short!"

"That's elven star catcher Cumulus under the ball right at the half-way line there Jim, and he's off and running."

"He certainly is Bob, along with all three of the other elven catchers - they're all meeting up in the middle of the field, deep inside the Femtastic half."

"That was some impressive dodging, Jim, but Femtastic are making the elven catchers pay, with some seriously heavy-hitting going on back there."

"Indeed Bob, with the ball carrier going down, and there goes the ref's whistle - that was a poorly executed foul from one of the Amazon lineswomen, who's been sent off."

"But the Amazons have the ball, Jim, and the elves are swarming the ball carrier."

"The ball carrier certainly seems hemmed in Bob - but there are some Femtastic runners trying to slip away upfield, perhaps for a pass?"

"Perhaps Jim, but in my days on the field, I used to find it was easier to catch the ball if I hadn't just been tripped and fallen face first into the mud!"

"The Elven Elāsmï aren't able to capitalize on the situation they have the Femtastic ball carrier in, though, with some poor attempts at blocking there."

"The weather really seems to be affecting both teams, though, Jim - that's a failed hand-off by Femtastic."

"And look at that Bob - one of the elves has snatched the ball out from under the noses of two of the Femtastic players, and has started running back upfield with it!"

"Oooo ... that had to hurt Jim - the elven ball carrier has been crunched by Femtastic, and stretchered off, but the Amazons are having problems getting a hold of that slippery ball."

"Word from the elven dugout, Bob, is that the team's apothecary has done some remarkable work on the elf, who will be back on the next drive."

"That's fine and dandy, Jim, but that's not helping the Elven Elāsmï right now - another elf has gone down trying to recover the ball."

"True enough Bob - but in the final few moments of the first half, that's a Femtastic player sprinting upfield with the ball, and looking for a Quick Pass to the potential scorer of the Amazons' second touchdown ..."

"Bah - a missed pass there Jim - and it was only a three-yard throw!"

"Guess Femtastic will chalk that one up to the weather, Bob, as the whistle blows to end this first half. The score stands at Femtastic one, Elven Elāsmï zero."

"Looks like it's heading to being a repeat of the pre-season match Jim."

"We'll find out in the second half, Bob, but right now we're taking a quick break for these local messages."

Femtastic

• Winnings: 50,000gp
• FF: +1

Elven Elāsmï

• Winnings: 20,000gp
• FF: 0