Oakland Blood Bowl League

Ram Yo Bootay vs. Elves in Totally Tighter Tights

Ram Yo Bootay Win!
3 - 1

A clear blue sky awaited the players of the Elves in Totally Tighter Tights (EiTTT) and Ram Yo Bootay (RYB) this Wednesday night as the players took to the pitch for their weekly dosage of Blood Bowl. The EiTTT were looking forward to having the most players starting off the game since their first match. That's right fielding 9 1/2 elves... counting Gower Champion (aka "Gimpy" -1ST, -2AV) as merely 1/2 an elf. Unfortunately Roy Diaz's hip was acting up and was forced to sit out for the game, bringing the EiTTTs starting lineup to a count of 8 1/2. The EiTTTs hopes rose when a VIRUS broke out among the players of Ram Yo Bootay, but their hopes were quelled when they realized that none of the opposing players would be affected. Ram Yo Bootay was having trouble being inspired for the day's match and were afflicted with overwhelming feelings of DOOM AND GLOOM... not surprising given that they're condemned to unlife. Ram Yo Bootay promptly won the coin toss and elected to receive. The EiTTT proceeded to setup a 3-5-1 defense with Savion Glover ready to excercise his newly discovered KICKing talents. Ram Yo Bootay setup with strong representation on the line, and with Mrs. Bitch (+1AG Wight) and Dr. Dookums (Ghoul) in the backfield ready to retrieve the ball. Just as Savion Glover was about to make the kick, a disgruntled fan screaming "Your choreography in Hello Dolly was appalling Mr. Champion!!!" promptly lodged a fist-sized rock into Gower Champion's (aka Gimpy) cranium, leaving Gower STUNNED. Savion neatly kicked the ball into Ram Yo Bootay's backfield and the game had begun. Mrs. Bitch promptly picked up the ball and began moving downfield. The first half of the first half consisted of RYB running a loose cage down one of the sidelines and being generally aggressive. The EiTTT thrice attempted to dodge an elf through the line to throw a one die block at the ball carrier, but every time the final GFI roll failed, and the coach was unwilling to push his players (i.e. spend a reroll) given the amount of time remaining in the half. The EiTTT managed to consistently dodge their line elves off of RYB's advancing cloud of undead nastiness, and around turn four Bob Fosse (Wardancer w/ Strip Ball) managed to assert enough pressure on the ballcarrier to force RYB to score. Halfway through the first half the score was 1-0 RYB. RYB setup heavily on the line, something like a 8-3-0 setup. Immediately after the ball was kicked, the EiTTT managed to blitz one of the sidelines, move 2 elves and the wardancer into RYB's backfield, pick up the ball and move it safely into EiTTTs backfield, and dodge the remaining elves off of the line. RYB proceeded to lay some tackle zones on the 3 scoring threats, KO Dame Margot Fonteyn (+1ST lineelf) on a BLITZ, and tie up the elves in midfield. Luckily, RYB left Gimpy (aka Gower Champion) completely unharassed in the midfield, apparently he wasn't considered much of a threat; so as Bob Fosse promptly dodged his way into the endzone, the ballcarrier gave a HAND OFF to Gimpy, and Gimpy ran up to throw a SHORT PASS to Bob Fosse. The score was now at 1-1 three-fourths of the way into the first half. The remaining 1/4 of the first half befuddled the EiTTT; they prepared to slow the advance of the undead swarm, but for some odd reason RYB didn't attempt to move any of their players into scoring position. The half ended 1-1. Oh yeah, and at some point RYB managed to GET THE REF, and then proceeded to foul rookie Amara Sands to DEATH, while the EiTTTs apothecary The Swing proved yet again his ineptness by failing to resusitate Amara. Dame Margot Fonteyn (+1ST lineelf) still could not be brought to, and remained in the KO box with Bill Robinson. The EiTTTs were fielding 6 players going into the second half. The EiTTT setup a 3-2-1 offense and RYB setup a 9-2-0 defense. The EiTTTs managed to dodge off of the line, and Bob Fosse managed to leap over RYBs line. Despite RYBs techniques in tackle-zone assertion, the EiTTTs managed to plant a QUICK PASS to Bob Fosse, who was eagerly awaiting the score. Unfortunately the team RR for the turn was blown trying to get off the QUICK PASS, and when Bob Fosse managed to roll yet another 1 on the catch (EiTTT needed to make two 2+ rolls only to make this play, and botched it even with a RR) the play ended with too many elves adjacent to undead nastiness. Long story short, RYB managed to convert the failed catch into a TD, and the EiTTT were just happy to not have any more players removed from the pitch. 2-1 RYB halfway through the second half. The EiTTT proceeded to make a pathetic attempt at a score (couldn't pick up the ball in 3 consecutive turns), and RYB managed to knock the elves over, recover the ball, and make the final TD. 3-1 RYB final.

Ram Yo Bootay

• Winnings: 50,000gp
• FF: 0

Elves in Totally Tighter Tights

• Winnings: 50,000gp
• FF: 0